Self-induced Alienation Can Be Comforting

Or something.

I seem to be all over the place today.  I woke up feeling excited and happy about the day's possibilities, amazed at how I always do seem to hop out of bed at right about 11:11, as I stated in an earlier blog entry.  It must be my natural waking point.  Or maybe it's the point at which the indoor temperature becomes a bit too stifling and I need to take the fans out of the windows before it gets worse.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Not I.

I made some iced coffee, and sat down to see what amazing things had transpired on Facebook while I was sleeping.  A dear friend who I've known for 25 years (my personal friendship-length record) hit me up on the Facebook chat, and we shared some friendly banter and music suggestions.  Awesome.

Then, another friend, a newer one, posted something that I found offensive, so I commented on it.  I can not be silent when I am offended in a way that I feel is justified or somewhat righteous.  I'm arrogant and self-righteous, like most any other American, and I feel it's my civic and moral duty to inflict my holy opinion of What is Right and Just onto others, especially onto my friends.  The exchange didn't go well, as often happens with internet conversations on topics that are potentially hurtful or sensitive:  Meaning is muddled, often lost; friendly smiles are unseen; lighthearted criticism turns into public, embarrassing, defamation; and people get defensive and feel hurt.  It happens all the time and I really should learn to just stop being such an arrogant self-righteous asshole in such a public forum where misunderstandings are pretty much guaranteed, but I'm a sucker for challenges and I felt righteous.  Dangerous combo.  Anyways, like I said, it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would, and now I feel a little guilty for speaking up, which also annoys me because I was RIGHT, dammit!  Sure, I could have handled it differently; probably even much better; but I am still torn between righteous indignation and shame at behaving thoughtlessly/without enough purpose.  I should be better than that.  Damn me and my conflicting purposes of care-free/sassy spontaneity and kindness to all other beings.  Sigh.

Band practice was again cancelled today.  We've probably practiced fewer than 3 times in the past two months.  But the show Friday seemed to go well, and we don't really have any new material to go over, or any shows booked, so I guess it doesn't matter.  I was looking forward to it though.  I always (nearly) enjoy getting together with my band, which luckily consists of a few of my very favorite local friends.  We goof around and play music (two of my very favorite things), and often afterwards we get to eat yummy food catered by another of my favorite local friends.

I guess I really do need to try to focus on preparing for going back to work in less than two weeks, so it's probably better to have practice cancelled.  I am teaching three subjects, and really need to figure out my plan for at least the next 10 weeks.  I've got a general idea for most of it, but not a real concrete map.  A map of sorts is important so that I can ensure I have everything I need BEFORE it's too late to get it.  Blah.  Even writing about it is boring to me right now.

One thing I need to figure out though, is how to acquire (for free folks, I'm pretty darn broke) about 150-200 folders for my students to use in my classes.  Any ideas/suggestions?  I need the kind pictured on the right:  The Twin-Pocket Portfolios w/Tang Fasteners.  Pretty please.  The colors are irrelevant.  We accept all colors of folders at my school.  That's one of the great things about where I work.

Well, that's probably more than enough words for today.  If you got this far, good for you!  Thanks for reading.  I love you.

Have a fabulous day!